I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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