And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
