yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
