An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
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