I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize