Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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