so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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