Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
