Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
