the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
