My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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