No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
