Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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