i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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