that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
