I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
