somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
