i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
