Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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