i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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