Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
