I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
