my sisters under your porch take her home
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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