everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
