that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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