i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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