Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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