if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
