Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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