He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
