exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
