Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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