Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
