would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
