We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
