I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize