i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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