Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
