Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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