You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
