It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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