I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
