My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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