You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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