Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Ladies don't puke and tell
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
