he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I don't deserve a penis
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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