Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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