The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
