Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
two words...techno handjob
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
