dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
tell me about the eggs
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
