soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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