so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
