Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Come share oat with me in your robe
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
