Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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