I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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