This girl is more easily done than said...
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
she looked like the before picture.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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