He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It's blow job season.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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